More tranny stories later!
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Drunk is a universal language darling
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
