I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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