In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
