8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Randomize
