Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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