We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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