totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
