the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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