I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
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