the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
