It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Just took my morning after pill in the library
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
