I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Randomize
