i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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