Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
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