"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize
