Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Randomize
