took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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