Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Randomize
