.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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