he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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