super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize
