Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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