Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Randomize