Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
