yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Randomize
