Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
smell my finger.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
she peed on how many people?
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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