no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
She told me I should be a condom model.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
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