the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
