I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Randomize