Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
This show inspires me to have sex in space
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
