There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
