Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I'm getting married
To pizza
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Randomize
