Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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