hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
