I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
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