I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
