Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Can you repeat that, but with context?
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Randomize
