So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
