Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Randomize