Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
