Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize