you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
