no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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