Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
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