Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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