we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Randomize
