Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
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