I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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