I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
Just cropdusted the office
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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