"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize
