You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
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