I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Randomize
