Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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