The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Randomize
