Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
