it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Randomize
