i just had sex bonerless
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
