He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
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