We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
