after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
