I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Randomize