Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
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