You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Randomize
