Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
